New York Chronicle

Florida Man Wants To Become CEO of United Airlines for Six Months

Florida Man Wants To Become CEO of United Airlines for Six Months

If I were to become the CEO of United Airlines for Six Months – These are the line items I would implement immediately

Orlando, FL – All of these points that are mentioned in this release have been substantiated!  I have looked at many different perspectives of making money the old fashion way. My team of experts has done the math, looked closely at the revenue data mining, Deep Data analyzing of what travelers truly want when they fly and not what they are dictated to do when they fly.  This is neither a form of Travel nor a form of Tourism; it is a form of fear and anarchy!  We have looked at 50 other ways to make money without distressing our customer’s pocketbooks and charging ridiculous, unwanted and unsubstantiated fees!  We have also looked at getting back wherethe customers are our number one priority, whether they were flying First Class, Business or Coach. 

Foreign airlines are making money and are not committing the unspeakable acts of what American customers are facing.  USA airlines are bullies in the skies because it reflects our current culture and the lack of discouraging it from the CEO down to the ground crews.  This philosophy has to change and quickly.  

All it takes is listening; unfortunately, the industry has made its way back to a single monopolistic culture from the early eighty’s, where it treasures large payoffs to the company’s C class employees. These airlines truly do not give back to its customers.   We need to take charge now or we will lose the way we want to travel as a society forever!  Customers at some point in time will revolt!  I wonder if the top threemajor airlines want to see this happen. United, Delta and American seems to have the same theme as our Police Departments do, act first and ask question later.   This is a policed society bringing fear where ever it goes.  We need to bring a sense of good back to our customers. Here’s how I would stop this from happening. If one company becomes the role model, then most will follow the simple methods of making money and making customers happy. A true win-win for everyone in the industry!

Please keep in mind that there are true and real solutions that I can implement with a stroke of a pen that have been proven to work. We have tested and have asked what the customers want and we can give them these with true workable solutions that can be put into place within a 2 week to 4 week period.

  1. First and foremost, I will raise salaries and offer incentives to my Mechanics, my Flight Attendants, my Customer Service Personnel, my Ticket Agents, my Gate Agents and my Marketing and Sales Teams.
  2. Second, I would not take a salary for six months and would accept a bonus based on performance only. I would ask my entire C staff to do the same!
  3. My top priority would be to make travel a fun and become an exciting experience for all customers who fly United.  
  4. I would take the airline back to the Friendly Skies of the late 50’s and early 80’s.
  5. I would eliminate all baggage fees and seat fees and all other unnecessary fees.
  6. I would bring back the opportunity to transfer tickets that could not be usedand eliminate (non) refundable tickets forever.
  7. I would bring back hot meals to all passengers including coach on all long haul trips and free cold meal on short haul flights.
  8. I would retire all flight attendant over the age of 35; they will have the opportunity to choose another job within the airline.
  9. I would make a rule to treat all passengers with respect or you will be terminated!
  10. I would eliminate over booking!  I would develop a technology that would eliminate it! I actually have!
  11. I would change the name from United Airlines to Continental Airlines effective immediately.
  12. I would offer free WIFI in the air and at all gates.
  13. I would offer every potential customer a way to invest in the airline.
  14. I would eliminate all seat back pay-per-view and video on demand touchscreens and replace them with free Netflixthat can be obtained by any customer’s device.
  15. I would give away a free set of luggage to every 100th passenger that flies on my airline with the airlines logo-to help build the brand again.  Those customers who fly with our logo on their luggage will get incentives while flying with us. Much like wrapping a car with an advertisement.
  16. I would strike a deal with the 25 top international tourism departments in those countries and start a global familiarization trip campaign program that will be a positive growth and revenue generating program for all involved, the airline, the customers and the Worlds Tourism Departments! Each of these countries paysContinental Airlines to bring travelers who have not flown out of the country and in-turn offer all our passengers the opportunity to fly for free to those destination spots across the globe.  Those countries would pay Continental to come to their country instead of implementing marketing and promotional campaigns that do not work. Those Countries being visited will in-turn raise their gross GDP by the spending from all tourists and travelers visiting those countries!
  17. I would sell merchandise on the planes to help build the brand into a global congenial brand once again.
  18. I would raffle off a round the world trip for two twice a month to US customers.
  19. I would offer free bottles of Champaign for coach customers who win In- the-air travel trivia contests.
  20. I would have casual Fridays for all employees.
  21. I would never close the curtain in first class ever again. I would remove this curtain forever!
  22. I would offer NFL/MLB/NBA/NHL/NASCAR fans bonus bucks where they can buy licensed merchandise at major discounts.
  23. I would offer incentive programs for all onboard and gate personnel for the best customer service.
  24. I would build the brand by making it a number one priority by co-marketing with celebrities who we can place in coach and have group discussions while on trips from NYC to LAX. This would happen occasionally and be a surprise for Coach Customers only.
  25. I would implement incentive programs to customers and employees on what we need to do to make things better if we choose their ideas.
  26. I would also bring incentives to all employees on how to make money the old fashioned way-we earn it by our performances.
  27. I would have serious but constructive meetings with all unions.
  28. I would adapt policies that will incentivize all employees with quarterly bonuses.
  29. I would adopt a C class form of salary program that will be based solely on performance for the customer first and second for the airline.
  30. I would make huge deals with digital ticketing companies and with Licensed Travel Agents worldwide, so Over Booking would go away within the first three months as I acquire the CEO Post.
  31. I would institute a help your neighbor flying program for all customers.  Those who have never flown before-we will offer Wednesdays and Saturdays as “See the states promotion”.  So you bring a person who has never flown before and they get $100 round trip seat tickets.
  32. I would implement a “Take care of your seat partner and those around you program”.   By getting to know them to see if they need any help while on the flight.  I would hire counselors to fly the skies to help in stopping the fears of flying.  To help travelers to get past the notion of their “fear while flying”.
  33. I would make recommendations to the FFA on how to treat aviation customers.  I would do away with cramped spaces by putting seats so closely together.  I would change the layout in all equipment (Planes) within our fleet to reflect this.
  34. I would buy more planes, so we can fly more customers who are comfortable.
  35. I would totally eliminate coach once and forever!  If you fly it is not a disgrace to fly coach.  Like in Titanic, the steerage passengers appeared to have the last laugh they were having a great time. 
  36. I would redesign all aircraft where the back of the plane actually had the best time.  Spacer seats, a cool bar area and a portal viewing area with sunroofs throughout the cabin. 
  37. I would redesign first class where all 1st class passengers had another level where they would never see passengers from a certain row back to fun seats.
  38. I would make 1st class into a think tank on long haul flights where if folks can come up with great ideas for our industry they get rewarded for their ideas.
  39. I would completely get rid of the on-time rule and change it by 15 minutes.   I would post that we roll back from the gate and close the doors but would state that we are always waiting on connecting flights on the last leg flights.  Those who are non-connecting.
  40. I would redesign the gate areas so they look amusing and more appealing.   I would offer free coffee and drinks and donuts before takeoff.  These would be made possible by our partners in the sky programs.
  41. I would institute Google Knap pods everywhere in our gate areas for a small fee and it would be sponsored by our partners.
  42. Everything we do will have a Disney methodology where corporate sponsors are involved to bring more class to our customer’s experience.
  43. It will be our primary goal to offer a number one customer experience and through this methodology comes customer satisfaction.

These are just a few programs that I believe if instituted properly within all departments of the airline, there will be noticeable corrections and will help guide the movement away from what is noticeable today.  These programs will make the airline not only profitable but will help the airline to become an airline built solely for the customer.

About Gary German

Gary German has been in the Travel Entertainment industry for more than 35 years helping with the implementation of digital in-flight content.  He was a Flight Attendant and a Business Development person for a major airline in the 80’s.

Mr. German has run his own Travel Company and has been successful in developing Digital Assets for the travel industry. He is currently working on a worldwide Voice Recognition, Artificial Intelligent Consciousness Platform for the Travel and Theme Park Industry. He also has released the worlds true Mobile Luggage Billboard and has manufactured the only Smart Luggage set with retractable wheels.

He can be reached directly at 407-496-1183, [email protected] | iimpacto.com

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